Let's talk about Amanda, who is like many of our patients. Pick any day and you'll find Amanda with 13 different tabs open in her browser. She has 3 podcasts waiting in her queue, a nightstand topped with several partially finished books, and software updates that keep getting snoozed until she has more time (which will be never). Plus, she has a business to run, two kids who want her constant attention, a yappy puppy, and a devoted husband who also needs time and attention.
With all her eyes, hands, and ears tied up, Amanda doesn't have to think about or feel her emotions. Life provides an escape route at every turn. Instead of pausing to feel, Amanda can send one more email, pick up one more dirty sock off the floor, or schedule that zoom meeting she's postponed three times.
Amanda comes to Dr. Christy Kane LLC feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and deflated. What responsibility do I put down? How do I improve emotional regulation when I don't have the time to spend on self-care?
Silence heals. In our busy world of blaring notifications and obligations that scream for our every attention and effort, we have to pause. In what moments could you adopt silence? When you're in the shower, riding in the car, or walking your dog, is there silence? Perhaps you seek silence while doing dishes, a grocery run, or taking a micro walk around your neighborhood. When we create spaces for silence, we give room for our feelings.
Feeling is not a bad thing. Silence allows us to process, reflect, and gain clarity. It allows us to come closer to ourselves,and to the world around us. In fact, giving place for feelings helps us to address difficult emotions while they're manageable before they spiral out of control. Many people even gain inspiration and some of their best ideas in moments of silence. Your brain is often working in the background on all times of solutions, creative endeavors, and comforts. Let your mind share with you what it has been working on. All you have to do is give it some space to speak to you.
Emotions are how our mind and body communicate to us. They send important messages that we cannot ignore. Listen to your emotions and pay attention to what they are trying to tell you. They may be trying to warn you of danger or provide you with insight. Take some time to pay attention to your emotions and try to understand their messages.
With the help of Dr. Kane, Amanda learned to pause and feel her feelings. She learned to practice mindfulness and self-care, and find more balance in her life. She began to feel energized, empowered, and ready to tackle her challenges.
A tool we recently found that can help you to seize moments of silence in your day is The Freedom App. It can block websites or notifications from specific sites and apps during time periods you define. You tell it when you want to focus, and what (or who) shouldn't disturb you during that time. It's great! You can use it to stay off social media during work hours or during family time. What would it be like if you couldn't open instgram or Facebook while you were spendingtime with your family? Give yourself the power to battle the dopamine demons of technology and to focus on your loved ones.