What is Marriage Counseling like at Dr. Christy Kane LLC?

Marriage can come with challenges, which marriage counseling can help with. Even if you love your spouse, feelings of infatuation may fade over time with the passage through various stages of love. As relationships change, the behavioral patterns within them can too.

If you think your marriage as a couple could improve or you find yourself experiencing frequent arguments and disagreements, you may consider marriage counseling.

The Impact of Marriage Counseling on Mental Health

Couples therapy can be a great way to boost communication, mental health, and the overall quality of your relationship—whether you're engaged, married, or navigating life together. It’s not just for when things go wrong; many couples seek therapy to strengthen their bond and plan for the future.

Therapy isn’t about a diagnosis—it’s about building a healthier, happier connection.

Just be sure to check with your insurance provider, as not all policies cover marriage therapy as a medical need.

Is Marriage Therapy Successful and Effective?

Many couples use counseling as a strategy for problem-solving. Often, these couples wait until serious issues have arisen and they’re in dire need of relationship help.

If you're still unsure whether marriage counseling is for you, the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) states that over 90% of couples seeking support feel they receive the desired results.

In general, it can be said that marriage counseling can help and that it works to address issues in a couple’s relationship. Professional marriage and family therapy is often highly effective and can help you achieve long-term results in the health of your marriage as a couple.

What to expect in your couples counseling sessions?

Starting marriage counseling can bring up many questions. It's important to understand how it works and what it can realistically offer. Couples therapy thrives when both partners are committed to making changes and learning new ways to communicate.

It’s not just about solving problems—it’s about strengthening the relationship. Keep in mind that therapy requires consistency and mutual effort from both partners.

If you're navigating challenges with kids, family therapy might also be a good fit.

Here are some things to keep in mind:

• The therapist doesn't "fix" individuals

• Therapy isn't a solo experience

• They won't play referee or take sides

• Therapy doesn't rewrite history

• Both partners need to commit to the process

It's also a good idea to ask your therapist about their approach to ensure it's a good fit for your relationship.

What could happen in a session? Will we actually have to talk to one another?

During marriage counseling sessions, participants may discuss relationship problems with their couple, as well as each individual's feelings, thoughts, and behavioral patterns. Like in individual therapy, many couples therapists offer specific therapy modalities or specialties. Some couples therapists might specialize in sexual intimacy, while others might specialize in a specific type of therapy, like discernment counseling, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), solution-focused therapy (SFBT), or emotionally focused therapy (EFT).

How will my marriage and family benefit from couples counseling?

Many couples seek marriage counseling because they want to strengthen their relationship, improve their communication skills, or address typical relationship challenges in the presence of a mental health professional.

Couples may also experience conflict and face challenges to keeping a relationship healthy, such as infidelity (for example, an extramarital affair), disagreements over parenting styles and how to raise their children, or constant arguing, which may lead them to seek counseling, either on its own or in addition to individual therapy.

If you’ve encountered the same argument over and over as a couple, it can indicate that you and your partner may have poor communication and active listening skills. Challenges like these can be navigated in couples therapy and counseling.

The role of support, guidance, and education in couples therapy

Challenges with communication or making healthy choices can lead to these conflicts among couples. Past experiences, family concerns, or past relationship challenges could also impact a couple's decision to see a therapist.

Regardless of the couple's concerns, relationship therapy and couples counseling can provide a space of support, education, and guidance as the couple works to resolve conflicts, come to their own conclusions, and practice new ways of relating to each other. 

When a couple chooses to attend couples therapy, sessions are overseen by licensed professionals, such as marriage and family therapists, who are versed in clinical psychology and the dynamics between partners or couples.

A licensed therapist can teach couples communication techniques and offer advice for intimacy and emotional closeness. This can help with the couple’s sexual chemistry and overall relationship status. It can also be a jumping-off point for individual self-improvement.

How to prepare for your first session

Some couples might feel excited about the prospect of taking the step to talk to a relationship counselor, which could temporarily unify them. This excitement could lead to couples mistaking these positive feelings for a sign that their relationship as a couple has improved. The decision to see a couples counselor might lift stress from the couple's shoulders, and they may feel they no longer need relationship counseling. 

1. List the subjects you’d like to discuss for marriage counseling

   
   

To support your decision to see the positive impacts of counseling, try to list the subjects you'd like to discuss in your first marriage counseling session and remember why you're attending counseling. Some couples notice a difference after just a few sessions of marital therapy and counseling.

However, even if you see results after the first session, continue going to couples counseling sessions to see how it impacts you. Studies reveal that couples who completed couples therapy are better than 70-80% of those who do not.

2. Plan for the cost of marriage counseling

The costs for marriage counseling, couples counseling, and marital and family therapy can vary based on a number of factors. These may include your the area where you live as a couple, the kind of therapist you see, and the number of sessions you'll need.

Most couples therapy sessions cost around $200 per session. At Dr. Christy Kane LLC, our rates are slightly more affordable at $150 per session.

You may pay around $700 to $980 monthly for four sessions of couples counseling. Your insurance policy might cover some of the costs. However, you could be responsible for co-pays.

3. Figure out which approach to marriage counseling will work best for you

There are several approaches to marriage counseling, including but not limited to the following:

• Emotionally focused therapy (EFT)

• The Adlerian approach

• The therapeutic model for marriage counseling

• The pragmatic approach

• The Gottman method by John Gottman

Many of these approaches are endorsed by the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy certifies marriage and family therapists in providing these modalities. Below are further descriptions of these methods. 

The Adlerian approach in marriage counseling for lasting relationships

The Adlerian model of marriage counseling was devised by Alfred Adler, a pioneer in individual therapy. He believed each partner should be treated individually before being treated as a couple. With this approach in counseling, each person receives treatment separately. After individual sessions of counseling, the therapist or clinical psychologist can see both clients simultaneously, as a couple. This approach allows the therapist to provide individual and joint support to couples. 

Therapeutic models in marriage counseling and couples therapy

With the therapeutic marriage counseling model, the counselor may treat the relationship like a mental health condition. The couple can work with the counselor to figure out the challenges impacting the relationship and how to fix them. This model of counseling may involve creating a strict treatment plan for the couple, focusing on communication issues, practicing trust exercises, or partaking in a specific therapy modality like debt. 

How counseling helps in strengthening marriage and family bonds

The pragmatic approach to couples counseling can help encourage couples to face their sources of conflict head-on, whether from disagreements about the children, intimacy, communication, or another topic they disagree with as a couple. The process of this counseling approach may include self-examination, finding causes of distress, and remaining solution-oriented as you work to resolve conflicts effectively.

Couples can learn to reduce blaming behaviors and cognitive distortions and learn how their partner is feeling by partaking in couples exercises to see the world from their lens.

Gottman method for couples

Developed by John and Julie Gottman, Gottman therapy has been a successful therapeutic model for over 40 years. According to the Gottman Institute, several of the steps to this method include:

• Learning to believe in commitment

• Building trust

• Telling dreams and visions

• Talking about hopes, values, and aspirations

• Managing rather than fixing conflicts

• Gaining positive perspectives

• Stating your needs

• Expressing your fondness and admiration for each other

• Building love maps

How long does marriage counseling for couples take to improve marriage relationships? 

There may not be an overnight solution to a relationship concern. In addition, every couple has a different reason for seeking counseling, so counseling can be a personal experience. It can also be important to find the right counselor and to address any underlying mental health challenges, such as substance use.

Regardless of the time it takes to receive support from therapy and counseling, the American Psychological Association shows that counseling can decrease the chance of divorce by 40% to 50%. Let your therapist know if you're concerned about the number of sessions you might commit to as a couple. They can help you develop a treatment plan and give you a potential estimate of how long it might take. 

If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.

Lifestyle changes to improve your marriage without a marriage counselor

If you're still not decided on marriage counseling, you may decide to make other efforts at repairing your marriage as a couple. Below are a few lifestyle changes you can try to increase your connection with your partner. 

Go on regular date nights

Many married couples may feel that romance falls to the wayside in their relationship after marriage. Consider making it a habit to go on a scheduled regular date night and continue communicating with each other. If you want inspiration for dates as a couple, you can print out a date idea list from the internet, cut up the ideas into small papers, fold them, and add them to a jar to pull out when you're ready for a date. 

There are also some great books out there with ready-made date ideas that are preplanned. All you have to do is walk out the front door! (And maybe arrange a babysitter)

Communicating about mental health during marriage counseling

Focusing on your communication may allow you and your partner to reduce conflict. Actively listen by listening to hear and understand, not to respond. Engaging in conversation frequently can help you understand your partner and their needs. Some couples do weekly or monthly check-ins to see how each partner feels about the relationship. 

Practice gratitude

Find areas of your relationship to be thankful for.

For example, smiling and thanking your spouse when they go out of their way to do the chores, give you some time off, or buy you a small present can show them you appreciate their efforts.

If you feel your spouse doesn't pull their weight in the relationship, showing gratitude can also encourage them to continue positive behaviors in the relationship. 

Focus on the "minor" aspects of life

Living day in and day out with someone may lead you to forget what you once thought was significant. Focus on the "minor" things that make your partner feel loved. For example, hold their hand, hug them at the store, send them a cute text, or do the chores while they're at work. These actions might increase feelings of love and appreciation in your relationship. 

Marriage counseling options for improved mental health

There are various forms of counseling and mental health services available for couples. However, some couples may feel unable to get one-on-one practice therapy in person due to insurance costs, session rates, or a lack of availability. In these cases, online marriage counseling may prove effective. 

Online marriage counseling

Because online marriage counseling can be done from anywhere with an internet connection, it is often effective for couples. It helps couples get past that first barrier of scheduling and finding a time coordinating between three schedules. With online marriage counseling, you can use video, phone, or live chat sessions to talk to your therapist.

In addition, partners can attend from two different locations or rooms. 

Efficacy of online couples therapy according to research

Research shows online therapy can also be a powerful tool for strengthening relationships and improving men’s and women’s health overall. In a systematic meta-content review conducted in 2021, researchers found that online couple relationship therapy was effective in improving relationship satisfaction, quality, confidence, commitment, and communication.

Don't wait to start healing

Marriage therapy offers significant benefits, such as improved communication, deeper understanding, and stronger emotional connections. Couples can address issues early on, creating healthier relationships before conflicts escalate. Waiting too long to seek help can make problems harder to resolve. Engaging in therapy sooner helps couples strengthen their bond and prevents small issues from becoming major challenges. Therapy also provides tools for better conflict resolution, building a more fulfilling partnership.